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About Deviant Member Michael Andrew BaldelliMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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Believe it or not a good majority of my work here even though is only set to 1024 x 768, are downloadable as Wallpapers to the tune of 1920 x 1080 (Widescreen). Feel free to peruse, and download if you'd like to use it as a Desktop Wallpaper. Just kindly note on your desktop screenshots that contain my work where you had obtained it. Thanks much! :)

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Untitled Wonders of the Semi-Organic World by mbaldelli
Untitled Wonders of the Semi-Organic World

Mandebulb 3D, Un-Retouched

I was having a dickens of a time trying to control the pixilation on this piece. And while it still has some in all the wrong places, I figured I'm being way too critical of the piece on the whole.

While this piece is in fact Mad Scientist Approved (tm), as it was going through the final rendering I recalled what Dick Cavett said in Beetlejuice to Maureen O'Hara about her character's art " If you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculpture.", so does looking at this piece come to mind.. Yep, this is one such example... Enjoy.

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Gossamer Base & Wallpaper by mbaldelli
Gossamer Base & Wallpaper
Apophysis 7x (R15), Un-Retouched

The base for the marble set as a wallpaper....  

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Gossamer Marble by mbaldelli
Gossamer Marble
Apophysis 7x (R15), Un-Retouched

There's alway something so fascinating about how Apophysis can make depth from such a low-variation gradient.  This is the result of that work.  I have also taken advantage of the base render to make a similar wallpaper.
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The Stubbornness of Moe Marble by mbaldelli
The Stubbornness of Moe Marble
Apophysis 7x (R15), Un-Retouched

Moe -- my stubborn little feline child -- was feeling guilty this morning because he had vomited up on the throw rug (and I didn't know it), so he was sticking to me at the desk like wet on rain.  Because he usually pins my left arm while he sits on me and the desk, it made it impossible for me to type (or do much of anything involving two hands), so it was either be creative or watch some movie...  

Being creative won and this is the result of sitting at the desk with one hand tied behind my back (so to speak).
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deviantID

mbaldelli
Michael Andrew Baldelli
United States
And in case anyone wonders....

1. I drink rarely. Once a year at best.
2. I use earbuds when in video chat because they have better noise cancellation.
3. Those are the glasses that got destroyed in Entry 608.
Interests

Entry 01/16/2015 08:59:04 AM - Mentat 852

 

Christ on a drunken rampage... You'd think I'd know better sometimes (but I don't). I get into a discussion with some teenage bisexual girl about her inherent disdain about the use of the label bisexual and feeling constrained by the baggage associated with the word, struggles to find a better word to use. The conversation makes its way to a part about self-editing and how everyone does it. She of course denies that she does in her offline life yet does so online... All right... She's wrong there, she provides proof that she does edit with the general public but she goes on anyway happily defining how it's selective and continues to whinge about the limits of the word bisexual and tries to drum her point on and on trying to create a no-win scenario.

 

It naturally doesn't work with me. I don't allow myself to be limited by choices other people try to foist on me. If I don't like the choices given to me, I have always made my own. I provided proof to this in the form of a brief story about as a kindergärtner I have always been ridiculed for my perspective.

 

The no-win scenario continues as she shifts the debate turns into some sort of attack against her and her bisexuality and how its an amateurish psychoanalysis. Seeing that answer I'm reminded all too keenly of the non-stop debates and battles with my ex Rick and no matter what I could possibly posit during the debate was going to be always wrong.

 

I typed the typical response: told her that if that's what she thinks, nothing I can say will change that and the thoughts I've had on this will go untyped. I went further to wish her well and hoped for the day that she found a word that she felt comfortable with and moved on from there.

 

I find myself feeling like Roger Moore's character in Ffolkes and his absolute disdain of women.

I am also reminded of a friend in New Jersey when talking to his daughter always said, "I should throw away my set of encyclopedias because you seem to know every fucking thing!"

 

I had worked up a rather good response, but because I'm tired of fighting a no-win scenario with someone that already seems to know-it-all, I've decided I'm going to put it here.

 

The plain and simple fact is, the baggage associated with bisexuality isn't new. While there are elements of it that are unique, the fact is ANY sexuality other than heterosexual has come with its own depressing sort of negative baggage. Take for example when I came out of the closet back in 1979. It's only 10 years after the Stonewall Riot (or the gay shot heard around the world). Being gay wasn't glamorous. The baggage it had was ugly. Being forever alone when invited to friends and family parties, weddings, etc. Being STD (and shortly after) and AIDS carriers. A life at the bars with nothing more than one-night stands. I can never have a family or children.

 

The thing is I wasn't going to have any of this. I wanted a husband. I wanted the house with a picket fence. I wanted the children and the pets (cats... not dogs... I always preferred cats). I changed my label to queer (in defiance) and went forward chasing my dreams. Back when I came out I was told by peers -- straight and gay -- I was a dreamer (at best) or delusional (at worst). Still I followed my dreams...

 

Fast forward 20 years and we see my dreams weren't so delusional or the products of some demented dream. And while I can't remotely claim to have revolutionized the social transformation and perception of the gay & lesbian community, I can take a little pride in the fact that I wasn't alone in this. I had -- in my own demented and stubborn way -- helped it along small and humble as it was.

 

The thing is this woman that I ended up discussing and walking away from isn't alone in her plight either. There are plenty of other people even if she can't see them -- going through the same struggles of fighting against the stereotyping and the baggage associated to being bisexual. While she might not be in contact with them, I have seen that they exist. Some simply bow to the pressure and choose a side (straight or gay) to make their lives simpler. Some stick to it and prove -- through their actions -- they are more than the stereotypes (and baggage) associated to the label.

 

I tried to explain to her that if she wants to fight against that stereotype to do so. Damned the torpedoes full steam ahead... Take a label that fit her and put her tits to the wind (as Bette Middler once said in a comedy sketch years ago). To listen to the sound of her own drum and march to it. After all, she did so when she defiantly tried to redefine the part of the conversation about self-editing (it was still wrong -- everyone, even her self-edits -- she just edits herself to the general public. But the point was she did so with the pride necessary to break other limitations). She had it within her to do the same against words she didn't like or fit her.

 

There's another saying that comes to mind in all this: "sticks and stones..." A word can only hurt you if you allow it. A name can only hurt you if you take it personally. If you succumb to the title, the label and feel negative (either in anger or in sadness) those labels have taken possession of you.

 

Was I hurt by the labels? The stereotypes? The baggage associated to the label? Damn Skippy. I'm human and not impervious to the name calling. And while I can understand the need for wallowing in that pain in that self-pity, but yet... somewhere along the line I turned it into an act of defiance. I would not and will not succumb to those stereotypes.

 

The last bit of wisdom came to me in the late 70s (about the time I came out) that went: There are three kinds (of people)... The wills, the won'ts and the can'ts. The wills accomplish everything, the won'ts oppose everything and the can'ts won't try anything. I promised myself I would be one of those that will. And haven't stopped since.

 

And with that I'm through proselytizing. Off to shop for ingredients for a slow-cooker recipe I want to try out. Until the next time.

  • Mood: Annoyed
  • Listening to: My mother ranting about a stolen DD Card
  • Drinking: Coffee

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:iconcartoon-girl-2010:
cartoon-girl-2010 Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014
Hey no prob :) (I love the marbles...reminds me of my own collection I've gathered over the years...still have a favorite dark aqua shooter on my dresser from way back)
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:iconwretched--stare:
Wretched--Stare Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You were 100% correct, I contacted the Acer engineers, who replicated the same problem on a few of their A10 Richland's, both Mobile and Desktop.


They tested the temps physically and they are right where they should be. Most software is falsely recognizing  GPU and CPU as separate chip but listing the temps together on the CPU meter.  

Thanks for your input Michael . :handshake:
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:iconmbaldelli:
mbaldelli Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014
you're welcome...  The reason why I caught it as I did was the board temperatures...  the temps are normally taken near enough to the processor (but not so near as to give false positives).  when I saw the board temp as low as I did, I figured the processor was running cooler than reported in the print-screen. 

You know once the Acer tech's report more on how the processors work, you'll be seeing improvements on the programs that are falsely reporting. 

Happy computing.  :w00t:
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:iconwretched--stare:
Wretched--Stare Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:) I hope so it seems AMD is pushing a new line of low to the high-end APU's this year. The APU cell like architecture needs to be recognized in software. 
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:iconmbaldelli:
mbaldelli Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014
I'm of the school of "wait and see".  I'm reminded of the Cyrix chip when this sort of thing is going to be pushed.  Good for the start, but can be buried under when you least expect it.  It's not that I'm hopeful, but truthfully Intel is as dirty a player as Steve Jobs was in his day.
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(1 Reply)
:iconwretched--stare:
Wretched--Stare Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the favorite Michael. 

I got it pretty cheap it is usually $100+ but I got it for about $58.  
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:iconmbaldelli:
mbaldelli Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014
:XD:  Keep in mind I'm only :+fav:'ing it because it's coffee...  Not Keurig
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:iconwretched--stare:
Wretched--Stare Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Some day Keurig WILL RULE THE WORLD Laugh ! 

I had a espresso/ coffee machine from CBTL that took its own kind of pods made in Italy but its being fazed out in favor of the company making K-cups for 
Keurig. It made a nice cup with the creamy froth from high pressure and good temperature.  I will miss it but I am in a rush in the mornings and at least this machine is reliable and I can get my fix with one push of a button while I get ready.

Depending on the brand and roast the coffee isn't that bad. I like the Gevalia 100% Colombian and Green Mountain
Special Reserve Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee myself with 100% Kona being a close third. 

What is your favorite kind of coffee 
Michael?     And for the love of God don't say Maxwell house! 
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:iconmbaldelli:
mbaldelli Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014
Gevalia actually...  before they became so commercial.  I usually gravitated towards the dark roasts as they rarely needed sugar and/or milk/creamer they were that smooth and sweet. I used to grind the beans myself.  Since then though, it's a toss-up.  When I have the money I try different sorts at local Coffee Houses or at Whole Foods, depending on the amount of energy I have to walk about the city.  

Maxwell House is just a filler if I can't get anything better..  Remember, I'm a coffee whore.  :D 
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(1 Reply)
:iconblessed-saen:
blessed-saen Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
thanks for the fav. :)
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